who am i? a non-existentialist asks herself meaningful-ish questions.

I have been really struggling with trying to figure out what I should write about next- I guess I am experiencing somewhat of an existential blog crisis. Is this a travel blog? Is it a lifestyle blog written by a traveller? A recipe blog that just got super off track? I could  just start fucking with you guys and go all minimalism on you while I work towards getting rid of as much of my worldly possessions as possible… or go back to posting twice a year and leave you all hanging until the next time I jet off into the sunset…

sunset over Chachani volcano, Arequipa, Peru

sunset over Chachani volcano, Arequipa, Peru

But I won’t. I think for now I’ll just keep writing when I feel like writing, about what I feel like writing about. And hopefully you (the nebulous ‘you, reader’) will keep coming back. I promise that when I travel again.. and I WILL travel again soon, that I will share my experiences!

maybe one day I'll buy a van and go on a road trip..

maybe ill go back to the dunes..

So what am I up to in the meantime? Getting rid of items I can live without, drinking a lot of coffee, listening to a lot of good music, doing more yoga, revisiting some of my favorite city spots, spending time with friends new and old, and enjoying the great weather we have had here in San Francisco lately.

Sutro Baths in San Francisco on a gorgeous spring day

Sutro Baths in San Francisco on a gorgeous spring day

 

california in peru.. that was a damn good cup of coffee

california in peru.. that was a damn good cup of coffee

Yesterday was my first day of a work-trade program at a local yoga studio, and I took my first free yoga class this evening from the chattiest yoga instructor I’ve ever encountered. This guy was literally talking about how annoying it must be that he wouldn’t shut up- it was the strangest, most confusing experience… If he was self aware enough to realize that we were sick of listening to him talk, why would he not just SHUT THE HELL UP?

Anyways, it wasn’t all bad. At the beginning of the class, he touched on the concept of being present. This isn’t out of the ordinary for a yoga instructor- It seems to be one of the common ‘yoga themes’ that comes up in classes, but tonight it really resonated.

now if only i could just do this all day...

now if only i could just do this all day… and yes, that is a thumb in the photo.

Here’s my take on it- In this moment, nothing but what you are present to exists. That may be the daydream you are currently in the middle of, the plans you are making for the upcoming weekend, or the memories of a trip you went on last year. However, the time we spend outside of the present moment is time lost- You can choose to be here, now, or live in the dream world of the past or future. The key is to consciously make that decision- will I meet myself in the present, or am I living in a time that either doesn’t exist anymore or has not happened yet?

We are in control of our thoughts, and our thoughts are what form our lives- how we connect to the world. I don’t think its possible for someone to always be present to each moment- life is more complicated than that- but it is a great reminder to slooooowwww down, just for a minute, and really take account of your thoughts. I love to daydream as much (maybe even more) than the next person, and definitely don’t plan on stopping anytime soon- but this is a choice that I make to step out of the present and into my dreamworld. Take a minute today to feel where you are, both emotionally and physically, and let that feeling sit with you for a bit. This exercise is a lot easier when we are in a new or unfamiliar environment (say, I don’t know, traveling in an unknown country), but in our day to day lives we spend a lot of time just sort of going through the motions, completing tasks while our minds are elsewhere- but I think even ‘the motions’ can be exciting and feel different if we recognize them in a new way.

grocery shopping can be exciting!

grocery shopping can be exciting!

Let me know if this works for you, or if you just think I’m full of shit 🙂

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