food confessions

*warning: i’m about to talk about things that make me uncomfortable… don’t judge me.

for some reason i thought this was appropriate

so as much as i love food, i also hate it. between my mom and my dad growing up, i got two very different ends of the food appreciation spectrum. my mom was a live to eat person. one of my dads favorite stories to recount is how when they first started dating, my mom would order one of every dessert when they went to dinner and then only eat one bite of each. apparently my dad gained a few pounds in those first couple of months together. my dad seems to see food as the enemy. he loves it, but for some reason is convinced that the less he eats of it, the better off he is, and the more he berates me about my eating habits, the better off i am.

this was a little confusing for a kid growing up.. especially one that was a little on the chubbier side. for the better part of my childhood, mom and i practically lived on fro-yo and french fries from the Daily Grill in LA. my dad was constantly trying to shove veggies down my throat.. and i say it like that because he was far from subtle about it. there was a lot of broccoli being thrown at the walls in our house during the early 90s.

i remember standing in my kitchen around 17 and my dad told me i looked pregnant. i didn’t talk to him for 3 days.

then, finally, around the age of 19, i discovered i actually liked veggies! i realized something had to change and i started exercising and trying to fit in more salads and less beer. however, my profound love of sugar, carbs and pissing off my dad is still alive and strong!

so now what? well, i try to find the balance. and sometimes the balance gets thrown off and i feel kinda shitty about myself. i’m never going to be the person that can eat whatever i want (read:cookies!) and not gain weight. nor will i ever be the person that doesn’t really really want that second slice of cake. i don’t follow any sort of specific diet, nor forbid myself from any specific foods. i try to make sure that at least %85 percent of things that go into my body are nourishing, healthy and make my body feel great… and the other %15 just taste freaking delicious!

then what do i do? i try to crowd out the cookies and cakes with green smoothies and big-ass salads.  i stay active and try to keep the muffins from settling over my 6 pack (its still kind of there!). when i really don’t feel good about myself, i remember that tomorrow is another day.. and i can fill it with food that tastes good and makes me feel good too.

so what can i tell other people that might go through the same cycles? don’t beat yourself up about it. go eat some veggies, drink some water, and go for a run. balance is harder than we think sometimes. craving ice cream? make a smoothie with fresh fruit and almond milk or have a greek yogurt. really want some salty fries? cut up a sweet potato and make some baked sweet potato fries.

life is shorter than we think.. let’s all try not to sweat the small stuff. (word on the street is its all small stuff)

move your body, enjoy your food, and treasure your relationships… at least that’s what i’ll be working on this month 🙂


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